I’m one of the lucky ones… I work from home in the mental health field, so I’m considered essential. I got to keep my job. I have an income. I have a loving family. I have a beautiful house with lots of space. I have access to food. I even have access to wine. I also have guilt.
I’m wrestling with guilt and almost shame. Whenever I feel happy and count my blessings, I can’t help but think about those who are truly suffering. Those who actually lost their jobs, those who don’t have space to spread out in their homes, those who don’t have access to food down the street. Those who have little kids at home driving them absolutely out of their minds… parents who are questioning their value as parents daily because their kids are loud, aggressive, fighting with each other, not sharing, running, jumping, not listening, crying, wailing, tantrumming… For those of you have any of these “real” problems, I feel ya, and you have a right to be angry, stressed, sad, and grieving. And in the meantime, I use Forgive Blend and Console Blend, sometimes weeping, sometimes seething, but always feeling so I can get to the other side.
The rest of these words may fall on deaf ears for you because you are, in a sense, just surviving. You’re trying to get through each day without disappointing yourself or your kids. You don’t feel like you have space to do anything quiet or by yourself. I get it. I hope that I can still provide you with some ideas, and I’m sending you a virtual hug right now.
This is a time to reflect – reflecting does not require time alone. In fact, if you have no other choice, you can do this when others are in the room. But you don't have to even do that. Get up 30 mins before your family, or create an expectation with your kids and family members that there will be time throughout the day where they need to have quiet, individual time. They can take a nap, read, whatever they need to do to have quiet time. Because YOU NEED YOUR QUIET TIME! I’m telling you, beyond any other, this one action has helped me to really strategize about how to use this time to grow. I don’t want to just survive and make it through. I really want to learn about myself, heal, and grow. I have been thinking about the following questions periodically, and I organize my day/week’s goals around them:
How can I take advantage of this time? With less driving, no watching of sports practice, I really do have more time available even though I’m still working, still cooking, still doing my daily routine. Those of you home-schooling your kids, just remember that you would have been on the field or at the dance studio, driving back and forth. That’s time to take advantage of. I have researched and tried out new recipes. I’m reading more articles and books. I’m listening to more podcasts. I’m particularly drawn to the work of Lalah Deliah. She provides a weekly blog on Sundays, called Sacred Sundays, chock full of inspiring quotes, high vibrational music, affirmations, and prayers. Get inspired at www.vibratehigherdaily.com
I spend more time praying in the mornings during my “power hour”. Not every day, I’m not perfect, but more often than I did before. I feel grounded, connected, fulfilled with purpose, and loving (because I always pray for others in a specific way) after prayer. Praying is free. It takes less than 5 minutes. It has a great return on investment. If you didn’t need convincing, just know that it feels really good. Of course I enhance this experience with Frankincense, rose, Sandalwood, the Yoga Collection, and florals from the Precious Petals Collection (Blue Lotus and Jasmine are particularly euphoric and ethereal).
What can I experience now that I couldn’t before? You probably have a similar answer – either family time, time for self, or even time to play/experience pleasure. It’s funny, my New Year’s Resolution was “Be Present" (in my relationships, with God, and in play). I’m a fun person, I laugh a lot, but I don’t actually play. When my daughter was four years old and was obsessed with Barbies, I played, but I really didn’t enjoy it. It was for her. I just didn’t enjoy using my imagination or doing anything that did not have a productive outcome anymore. It took energy that I did not have. So I followed her lead and played along. She was four, she was just happy I was her play mate, and there was no rating of my performance going on. But I knew. So when I developed my New Year’s Resolution for 2020, I knew that about myself. It’s a source of sadness and regret, to a degree. When I was an adolescent, people used to say to me, you have such “joie de vivre” (joy of life). As I got older, I just became so serious about routine and getting my tasks done that I wasn’t able to relax and play. So… now we play. We play card games, mainly, but I’m sure we will expand. We sit in the living room (my favorite room), in our comfy chairs and couch, on the rug and the poofs, sitting around the ottoman, we play music we all enjoy, and we laugh. I love to laugh, so this feels good. I secretly lather myself before this ritual with Cheer and Adaptiv oils to be sure that I will be in the appropriate mood. Sometimes I need a boost… Last week I had to take a triple dose of Adaptiv soft gels to keep myself in the right space. No judging, my tools are natural and supportive of the body’s existing mechanisms to manage stress. Basically, I’m just helping my body use what it already has – I’m helping it to thrive.
How can I create opportunities to thrive and grow? Because my top strengths are Learner, Achiever, and Relator, I’m reaching out more to my DoTerra customers, trying to anticipate their needs, sharing free content and strategies to help each person individually. I’ve been doing something similar with some of my friends and family, just those whom I know need a little kindness, distraction, and connection. I am growing because I get to do what I love the most – getting to know my loved ones at a deeper level. We are going beyond surface level conversations, we are connecting at a heart level. This too, feels good. Did you know that Rose essential oil is the oil of divine love? It opens your heart so that you can “feel” what needs to be felt, you can “give” what needs to be given, and “receive” what you need. And by the way, this special oil is a BOGO oil this week AND in the Precious Petals Collection. Divine messaging, perhaps?
What parts of me need healing? The worst and best trait I have is that I’m a peacemaker. It’s a great trait because it makes me intuitive about other’s needs, concerned, kind, and patient. It’s a not so great trait for me because I truly prefer to avoid conflict, and therefore, sometimes things fester. At my age, I’m no longer afraid of it… no longer flush, heart beating so loud and fast that it’s pounding in my ears, no longer have shaky limbs just thinking about the confrontation or being vulnerable. But… I still don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable, I don’t enjoy it, I’d rather have a different experience. In the last 5 weeks, though, I’ve had several “deep and real” (as my family calls them) conversations with each of my family members, labeling something I need to be different, or sometimes them calling me out on something I need to change. It’s been exhausting at times, but also a relief. It’s a relief to be part of a family where you are loved no matter what, and where everyone’s opinion matters, but we also hold ourselves to a standard of respect, kindness, and politeness (doesn't mean we always achieve, just saying...) That only came because I pushed through and had the courage to say the hard thing. I used Rose lathered all over my heart quite a bit before these conversations.
Thriving requires not only desire, but also intention. Intention creates action and change. Don’t waste this precious time, loves, do some thriving while you are surviving.
Much love and hugs,
Aimee
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