“Keep your heart with all diligence”, Proverbs 4: 23. Such a simple proverb packed with power. The “heart”, meaning the mind as the center of thinking and reason, but also includes the emotions. It’s all wrapped up in one. Your heart, who you are at your core, goes back to your thoughts. See, I KNOW this, but I don’t always REMEMBER this… and then I’m down the rabbit role of catastrophizing thinking, all or nothing thinking, or even self-deprecating and blaming thinking (all toxic thinking and all contribute to perceived stress in the body). Depends on the day, which theme prevails, but no matter the situation, it is TRUTH that I am not in control of my thoughts in that moment. And when I am not in control of my thoughts, my emotions become out of control and negative, and then I live my day without true purpose. Floundering, falling, confused. I’m losing sight of my health goals, self-care goals, and even my relationship goals. I’ve been slowing falling, over the summer. Having more out of control days than grounded days. I know I need to get re-grounded.
Several years ago, when my physical health was at its worst, and I was zeroing in on reducing toxic load, I didn’t start with physical steps - I actually started with changing my toxic thoughts. The first step towards being willing to even prioritize the steps I needed to take to reduce toxicity, was to change my toxic thinking. I had so many mind-set blocks that were barriers. Any of these sound familiar? If I sit down I’ll never get back up; I don’t have time; If I don’t do all the things, I will disappoint; If I am not the perfect mom, wife, cook, beauty, I won’t be loved; No one else will do it except for me; If it doesn’t get done, it’s the end of the world. I don’t have the money. These thoughts led to feelings of anxiety, which led to action – running around doing all the things, but not the things I needed to do that would help to detox my body in a powerful way. Yes, I worked out – every day (and yes, this does help with getting toxins circulating). But I did not do any restorative activities at all – everything was productive time. Being still, to me, was unproductive, (another untrue and toxic thought) and would lead to lack of success. There are others who have different negative responses to toxic thinking – some people get stuck in inaction, feeling hopeless, a never ending cycle of hopeless, stuckness, and then despair. The less you do, the more you beat up on yourself, the more hopeless you feel, and the less likely you are to take any action. You see how counterproductive toxic thoughts can be? So knowing this, I developed some really important rituals in which I incorporated my essential oils.
Why would I bring up essential oils in connection to toxic thinking, you might be wondering? Well, essential oils use the power of aroma, which is the quickest way to alter the brain (which is where your thoughts occur). When you breathe in essential oils, the molecules can get to the limbic system of the brain (where the messaging occurs) in under a minute! So I used essential oils to help me calm myself down, get in the right mood so that I COULD actually think and change my thinking patterns. You see, I was so caught up in flight/fight response that I literally wasn’t thinking - not in a productive, helpful way. So I needed to sit down and think, and plan, and be still. Oils saved me. For real. I still don’t LOVE being still for too long, but the gorgeous aroma is imprinted in my memory and draws me to the ritual. I NEED it. I NEED the ritual, NEED to think/call bullshit on my negative thoughts, NEED to change them, NEED to plan next steps. And therefore, I NEED my oils.
If you are working either on stress, catching yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself (or others), or experiencing unpleasant moods, reach for an essential oil. Set the stage for yourself to start working on your plans to get back in balance. Rituals are the easiest way that I’ve found to do this, which is why oils help me so much. But, you can also use oils in the moment when you are in the negative mood, to help get you out of it.
Rituals to consider:
Morning wake up routine – diffuse oils, calm reading, praying, etc… DO NOT consume negative information during this time. Allow your brain to wake up slowly and ease into the day. No cortisol rushes please! Initially I used this time to think of things I was grateful for, zero in on affirmations and positive thoughts that I wanted to focus on throughout the day. This really helped to give my day the purpose that I needed. Then, I was able to plan out my day with those important goals in mind. For this routine, I like to use uplifting and beautiful smelling oils like wild orange, tangerine, clementine, as well as wood oils. I’m drawn to Patchouli right now for some reason. Isn’t it interesting that I am drawn to Patchouli though right now? My soul knows I need some help with solid re-grounding. That sometimes happens with oils. When you find yourself drawn to one, allow yourself to stay with it. Consider why you are drawn to it – your soul knows, but if you can figure out what your soul knows, you can live your day with more meaning. Wood oils like patchouli and cedarwood can be used to help you feel grounded and balanced. They help you keep your feet on the ground, so to speak. Think of the roots of a tree. They keep the tree grounded and anchored, even while the wind keeps blowing or breaking off its limbs. They help to increase feelings of control while faced with chaos and challenges.
Daytime Productivity routine – when working, using brain, doing thinking activities, set up diffuser with thinking oils and also apply topically to back of ears, nape of neck, temples, and wrists (and inhale) prior to starting your activity. For this ritual, I like to use energizing and thinking oils. Rosemary is energizing, memory boosting, and helps with clear thinking. Peppermint has similar qualities, just a different aroma. Combine rosemary or peppermint with wild orange (it’s a happy, joyful, uplifting oil) when you need your brain to be productive, sharp, and positive. You could also add a floral oil if desired - Jasmine, for example, increases euphoric mood and encourages spiritual, creative thinking.
Evening Routine – between the end of dinner and bed-time, set up diffuser again with oils that keep mood positive, but also start to help calm you down before you need to head off to bed. I love to use Ylang Ylang or other floral oils in the evening, along with a wood oil to keep the scent from being too sweet. Ylang ylang has a sweet, intense floral scent and helps to reduce blood pressure by 30% in under a minute. Makes sense to use it when you are trying to wind down, do some calm thinking activities such as reading positive material, the bible, motivational books, doing journaling, etc… Any floral oil that you love the scent of will be useful for this, though.
Now that you have the rituals decided on and the oils selected, it’s time to work on the actual thinking patterns. Here is an incredibly simple way of managing toxic thoughts, but I’ve also included a link for a short video that walks you through the process as well.
1) Identify the toxic/unhelpful thought – example. I used to think “If I don’t do ALL the things, I will disappoint.”
2) Analyze the toxic/unhelpful thought – what part is true? what part is untrue? is any of it true? what evidence do you have that is true? what evidence do you have that it is not true? weigh the evidence. Using my example, the part that was true was that I will disappoint. The untrue part was “all” the things. The evidence I had was that my family definitely made it known when I did not prioritize something that was important to them. So, Yes, it was true that when I did not do the important things, I would disappoint. It was also true that disappointing my family was not the end of the world. I got to the point that I knew that sometimes what was important to them was not important to me and my needs also needed to be considered.
3) Restructure the thought – change the words of the thought so that it is more true, more real. My toxic thought became – “If I focus on a few important things, then my family will feel loved, and I will be able to take care of myself as well”. This thought made me feel in control, purposeful, hopeful, driven, and loving. It led me to use planning to prioritize what tasks were important for the entire family, and to determine which tasks/people’s needs had to get de-prioritized that day.
Loves, it’s time for us to get strong, to protect our minds and our hearts from the onslaught of negative information and people. Prepare as if you were preparing for the battle, as if negative thinking is the enemy. It really IS the enemy (def – something/someone that opposes or is actively hostile; a thing that weakness/harms). Without a strong mind, you will achieve nothing. How does one prepare for battle? Daily practice, daily strengthening of the armor, daily filling the body up with powerful nutrition and positive information. Go forth!
Much love and virtual hugs,
Aimee
Additional Resources for Positive Thinking
Power of Positive Thinking tricks
How to change negative thoughts Video – the actual steps of the process when you don’t have a therapist
Get out of your head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic thoughts – Jennie Allen – a book about using spiritual warfare (and scripture) to help change thinking patterns.
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